


White Rose

by Chileangirl



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, M/M, canonAU, hanahaki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-11
Updated: 2017-12-10
Packaged: 2019-01-31 18:56:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12688218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chileangirl/pseuds/Chileangirl
Summary: Sequel to zhīzi- Gardenia





	1. Old habits die hard

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MeltedMoonStone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeltedMoonStone/gifts).



**“A White rose petal was floating around the room…”**

****_FUCK!!! It can’t be!! No!! Not now!!! This is so wrong!!! Why?? Is it because made him suffer?_**** ** **-**** Mark thought. The moment Mark saw the petal floating around he took it into his hands, it was beautiful indeed, but it was also the answer he didn’t want to receive. All his feelings towards Jackson were not just brother-like. Worst of all, if he was coughing petals it could only mean 3 things:

 ** **One:****  he was in love with Jackson.

 ** **Two:**** He had Hanahaki.

 ** **Three:****  he was really fucked up.

Mark couldn’t breathe properly so he stood up and took the glass filled with water that was place next to his bed, he was lucky to be assigned to room alone, nobody was going to question him about the petal floating around. It was so infuriating; he had developed feelings for Jackson without knowing. It was terrible because he knew Jackson got rid of all the feelings. Mark couldn’t blame him though; he was blind and took Jackson’s feeling for granted. Only when those feelings weren’t there he understood. It was all going to be difficult.

 

Mark was terrified, there were a million questions running inside his brain. He knew Jackson was just faking their friendship, there were not real feelings and it couldn’t be helped. Mark also understood the seriousness of his situation. Mark put the petal inside the copybook he had read hours ago. Mark hugged Jackson’s journal and took a deep breath, it was gonna be the hell of a journey.

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 ** **You know BamBam; I think old habits die hard-****  blurted Jackson while having breakfast with his bestie.

 ** **Why would you say so hyung?****  - asked a puzzled BamBam.

 ** **You know, before the surgery the doctor mention I wouldn’t remember anything about Mark hyung and our friendship, our bound, I would completely forget everything about him as a side effect of the surgery. He also mention I had to fake for some time until nobody suspect why I was not as closed to Mark Hyung as I was before. Truth is that I still hang around Mark, I still help him to feel comfortable around new people, like the way I did before. I can in fact be near him with zero physical consequences, I can breathe normally, and there are no more petals inside of me. It just that I feel so strange, I guess I have to get use to this new me-****  said Jackson.

 ** **What? -****  BamBam couldn’t get the idea.

 ** **What I meant is that I don’t think I’m faking my concern when Mark doesn’t feel good, I believe I still care about him, but in a different way-****  explained Jackson.

 ** **Oh, I see. Well, maybe you’re right; it’s hard to change some habits. You were so close to him before. It’s actually understandable if you don’t have to fake concern, you were friends for years. Plus, you have tons of videos and pictures of Markson going around so you will be reminded of what you had with him before. But, are you ok hyung?-****  Asked BamBam.

 ** **Yes, that’s my point BamBamie. I’m doing just fine-****  answered Jackson.

 ** **Ok, I guess there’s nothing to worry about-****  added Bambam while finishing his breakfast.

。・゜★・。・。☆。・゜★・。・。☆。・゜★・。・。☆。・゜★・。・。☆


	2. I would...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marks starts writing his journal

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Mark started to feel uncomfortable and deeply sad, ever since he discovered that dreadful notebook: the one with Jackson’s story, the one with the truth he couldn’t see. More than a diary it seemed like a DeadNote, his name was written so many times with such intensity, Mark died a little bit every time he re-read it.

Mark took the copybook with him everywhere, until one day he decided to do something else.  ** ** _I’m gonna continue writing on it, this time my feeling will fill these pages; it may be helpful to write about the feelings I can’t understand._****

 

****Journal entry #1** **

****Hi, this is Mark or Yi En Tuan. I have no idea what I’m about to do with all these emotions but someone before me tried to clarify his mind by using this diary. I have to come out clean so: I recently discover the existence of this copybook, I read it and it gave me the shock of my life. You loved me Gaga, with such intensity. I guess you never do things half way; you poured all your feelings towards me, if only I had seen it before. If I had taken the time to clarify my own feelings… I guess it’s too late.** **

****From my reading I can easily recognize the symptoms I’m going through and the ones I’ll be having. Even now, after your surgery, after all the pain I unknowingly put you through you keep on helping me Jackson. You’ll be my guide in this Hanahaki disease. I’m so scared now, I know I’m in stage one of Hanahaki.** **

****I love you, W** ** ****ǒ** ** **** ****à** ** ****i n** ** ****ǐ** ** ****, Saranghae Wang Jia Er, was it that difficult to say when it mattered? I don’t know when I fell for you, I grew to love you boyish smile, your pure heart, your thoughtful actions, the way you treat people around you, your gentleman manners, you’re the most handsome person I have ever met and I feel terrible. If I had been aware of my feelings before your surgery maybe there would be room for happiness but as I can see it, there won’t be a happily ever after for us. If only…** **

****I took you for granted Gaga. If only I could go back, only one day to that time, I would hold you. If I could go back I would give you my everything. I should’ve caught on your feelings back then. If I could go back Gaga, there is so much I would say…** **

****I guess it’s time for me to suffer, to understand what you went through and endure as much as I can. I’ll find a way out. I guess I got to.** **

****You were right again Gaga, writing does bring peace to the mind.** **

****-M** **

Inspiration from Day6’s song “I would”

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	3. Almost caught!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BamBam get suspicious...

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 ** ** _Strange? I could have sworn there is a strong flower smell in the room._****   ** **MARK HYUNG!!! Did the fans give you flowers again? I swear I can smell roses but I can’t see them. Do you have them with you in the bathroom? -**** BamBam asked Mark, they were currently in the same room.

 ** ** ~~Shit!!! What to do?? He is gonna get suspicious-~~**** reasoned Mark-  ** **No Bambamie, I got a new perfume and is rose-based and I was trying it before, that’s what you smelled-****

 ** **Ok hyung. I’ll be going downstairs to have my hair done for the fansign, see you there-****  Said BamBam.  ** ** ~~Bizarre, that was the old excuse Jackson hyung gave me in the past~~**** \- Bambam thought before leaving the room.

Jackson kept being himself: hyperactive, happy virus, affectionate. However his actions were always intended to be playful Mark heart’s wasn’t cooperating. Every fan service made him feel  conflicted: happy to get close to Jackson but sad knowing it was only an act, Jackson was just pretending to care for him, after the surgery there were no feelings left and Mark died a bit every day.

There were some filming to do and Jackson looked stunning, Mark couldn’t help but to stare at Jackson photo ‘session. When Jackson looked at the camera and sent a smirk, Mark lost his cool. He felt the uncomfortable sensation of butterflies in his stomach and the itchiness in his throat. Mark left the studio and went straight to the toilet. He started to cough and some white petals made their way out of his system. He tried to erase all evidences and went out of the bathroom. Just when he was about to enter the studio a hand touched his shoulder:

 ** **Hyung are you feeling well? You looked pale**** \- asked a raspy voice.

 ** ** ~~Just what I needed, you hand is burning me~~**** ** **. Yeah, I’m doing fine Gaga, I may have a virus, and maybe I’ll be down with a cold. You know me, I always have a cold during this time of the year-****  Mark brushed Jackson’s hand and went to talk to the photographer, it was his turn after all. There was a person interested in the conversation though…

 ** ** _Mmm, interesting… Jackson hyung said the same to me back in the days. I wonder what is going on inside Mark hyung’s head. If I could only read his mind-_****  BamBam reflected.

 ** **What’s going on with Mark hyung? -****  BamBam asked Jackson.

 ** **I dunno, he seems pale, doesn’t he? I asked him but he brushed me off. I guess it’s only stress-**** answered Jackson.

 ** **Hmm!! You still care for him Jacks-****  added BamBam while looking at Jackson. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, the doctor had clearly stood that Jackson would forget completely about Mark, but from the frown in his friend BamBam knew the concern was real.

 ** **I told you before BamBam, some habits die hard and my concern about him is one of those**** \- said Jackson.

 ** ** _I may be a bit paranoid; I don’t want to see my hyung suffer again. I’ll pay a visit to his doctor and I’ll comment about Jacks’ situation._****  BamBam made his mind.

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	4. A visit to the doctor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BamBam goes to visit doctor Kang.

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****Doctor, hello. I don’t know if you remember about me but I came here with my friend Jackson and you performed a surgery on him. My name is BamBam and I have a couple of questions for you.** **

****Hello BamBam-sshi, I do remember seeing you around. How could I forget when JYP himself came to me? How’s your friend doing? Is he feeling well?**** \- asked Dr. Kang.

 ** **Yes doctor, he’s doing just fine. But I have some unsolved issues and I’d like to discuss them with you-****  said BamBam.

 ** **Well BamBam-sshi I’m all ears. Tell me what your questions are-**** added Doctor Kang.

 ** **First of all, are you sure you removed all the seeds and vines from Jackson’s body?****  - asked BamBam.

 ** **Give me a minute BamBam-sshi to look for your friends files**** \- Dr. Kang started to tape in his computer, once he found Jackson file he read it and gave an answer to BamBam:  ** **Absolutely sure, everything was taken care. The exams showed me no signs of seeds, petals or vines.****

 ** **Ok, good to know. My second question: is there a change of relapsed? I mean can Jackson hyung have again the disease?****  - inquired BamBam.

 ** **Well, BamBam- sshi to be honest: yes, there’s always a change to have Hanahaki again. It wouldn’t be the first case-****  Dr. Kang responded.

 ** **Um, let me be more specific: can Jackson hyung get the same disease for the same person****? - Inquired BamBam.

 ** **Let me be clear on this: only in 1% of the cases the patient has a relapsed over the same person, having Hanahaki for a second time. It’s very rare but not impossible. I remember one patient, an idol like your friend with chubby cheeks, a killer body and half-moon eye smile... what was his name? Jun? Jin?… Jimin I guess. Well, in his case he had the disease twice and he almost didn’t make it the second time. It was such a pity to see a person so vulnerable. After having the surgery he thought he was fine, it turned out that not. He came back and had a second procedure. Luckily after that he found love in another band mate and he hasn’t come back. I hope you friend doesn’t go through the same situation. It more dangerous to have a second surgery, it could be lethal-****  Dr. Kang answered.

 ** **Oh, I guess I need to pay extra attention to my hyung. I have a last question Dr. Kang: what if the person that caused the problem has the disease himself?****  - questioned BamBam.

 ** **You surely are inquisitive little one. Do you mean the other person has Hanahaki too? If it is so then he needs to see a doctor as soon as possible-****  responded Dr. Kang.

 ** **Let me clarify doctor Kang: what if the love was mutual? What if both people have Hanahaki at the same time? Have you seen a case like that before? If so, what happened?****  - asked BamBam.

 ** **Ok, let me think about it… I did have a case like that before, there was this famous guy, I can recall his name exactly but he left quite an impression, he had raven black hair, owl-like eyes and heart shaped lips. He got the surgery once, then he fell in love again for the same person and the day we were making the appointment for his second procedure something unexpected happened. He walked out of my office and he found out the next patient waiting for me was his crush, I remember he was tall, with sun kissed skin and sharp face with plump lips. It was such a surprise for both of them. They came into my office to clear things. It turned out both were in love with each other but hadn’t confessed. No need to say there were no surgeries for them. It was a happy ending. Your hyung can be in the same position, I recommend you to look careful at both sides of the story, if you see the signs you may be able to prevent an unnecessary procedure-****  said Dr. Kang.

 ** **Thanks a lot doctor, I’ll keep my eyes wide open. In case of being necessary I’ll contact you gain. Hopefully there won’t be any need-****  Said a hopeful BamBam.

 ** **Mark hyung, I’ll be your shadow from now on-****  thought BamBam while leaving the hospital.

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****Journal entry #2** **

****Oh my!! BamBam almost got me, he has such a sensitive nose. He could smell the rose scent there was in my room. I panicked for a while. BamBam is familiarized with the disease and he could have figured everything. I’m glad I could cover with a lie.** **

****I almost cough a petal in front of Jackson; I felt my inside was burning. It was just a normal photo session but Jackson looked so sexy I just couldn’t help myself from admiring him. Then he smirked, he never really does it but I just happen to looked at him and I lost my shit… Oh my!! Ottoke??? This love is overpowering me.** **

****I need to find a way out as soon as possible.** **

****-M** **

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	5. Falling again??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark goes to the doctor and gets his diagnose. BamBam keeps his suspicions.  
> Jackson is questioning himself

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****JOURNAL ENTRY #7** **

****How could he do it? How could he endure all this pain? Hanahaki is hell, flowers used to be so beautiful before. Now they are a reminder that I fucked up, that I let go the biggest love I could have had, I know he won’t love me the way he used to…** **

****Ah!!It’s so frustrating!! I now notice so many details. I missed the best part of my life, when he was there next to me, in love. When in his eyes I was the chosen one…** **

****I may be handsome but he’s so charming, too good to be true. He’s been in China many times; he even bought an apartment there!! He’s been in many TV programs. I’ve watched every single of them. Even when my stomach wants to explode I can’t help myself.** **

****His pictures!! Oh my!!!He’s so dashing; Jackson must stop eating rice because he’s becoming too handsome.** **

****I just don’t have the nerve to go and confess because it’s completely useless. I want to cry but that never solves anything. I did the logical thing: I went to the doctor and got checked; the diagnostic was a total surprise… “Hanahaki Disease” with white roses as the flowers growing inside. I’m taking meds now. Similar to Jackson I switched my vitamin pills so nobody get suspicious.** **

****I have fucking idea of what to do. I’ll hold a bit longer, I mean I feel I deserve a bit of punishment  for not loving him when Jackson loved me, I’ll wait before I decide to have the surgery.** **

****-M** **

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****Jackson hyung, are you sure you have nothing to tell me? -****  BamBam asked.

****Nope, absolutely nothing to mention, why do you ask?****  - said Jackson.

****Cause I went into your room and I saw what you have there-****  answered BamBam.

****Oh well, yes. I mean you probably saw my room messier than before. But I have a justification though; I’ve been more in China than in Korea so I haven’t had time to clean my room.** **

****That’s not what I meant hyung. I saw the pile of magazines you have in the desk. Care to explain? -****  BamBam questioned.

****I- I - it’s not what you think. I can explain. Look I was in China and some Jackies gifted me those. You know I can’t just throw a present so I kept them-****  Jackson tried to explain why he had a pile of magazines of Mark in his desk.

****Hyung! I saw this before, when you were… you know. Hyung I don’t want to see you suffering again, take care-****  pleaded BamBam.

****I think you got it all wrong Bam. I am not like I was before, I went through surgery and as far as I remember they took it all out. I can’t possible love him again. This is just out of habit; I used to save his pictures in my phone before, but not now. I have those pictures of Mark but I didn’t buy any magazine, I promise there’s nothing to worry about-****  Jackson tried to calm BamBam.

****If you say so, you can go and have a shower first I need to do some stuff first**** \- added a defeated BamBam.  ** ** _Hyung you just don’t know there’s a small chance for you to fall again. You just couldn’t get rid of those magazines, Ceci photo session was a killer. I’ll be watching you Jackson as well as Mark hyung-_****

****_Is it possible though? I mean to fall for Mark again? -_****  Jackson was in deep thought. He didn’t notice it; he was stripping himself to go to the shower. He wrapped a towel around his waist and headed to the bathroom.  ** ** _But the doctors told me they took all the seeds, vines and petals away, I can’t feel anything for Mark now, it’s already over, Bam must be going crazy-_****

Unfortunately for Mark, he was on the way to his bedroom when an almost naked Jackson came in his direction. Jackson wasn’t looking around but Mark was speechless: such a great body, perfect proportions, he was ogling at his ex-best friend. Suddenly a wave of cough came to him. He rushed to the bathroom, saving himself from the embarrassment of facing Jackson.

****Yah!!Hyung!!! I was about to take a shower**** \- protested Jackson.

Mark heart was wildly beating, his lungs were burning, and his eyes were full of Jackson. Mark tried to calm himself and he shot in mandarin:

****I know Gaga, just give one minute. I need my vitamins I forgot my daily dose this morning I’ll be heading out-** **

****_Huh? Mark hyung talking in mandarin? He only talks in mandarin when he is extremely nervous-_**** _Jackson thought._   ** **Its ok, I guess I can wait a bit-****  Jackson shouted back.

****_Stop it Jackson, stop being so considerate so appealing; I’m suffering here. You are so gentle. I want to stop loving you but you’re making it impossible_**** _._  Mark took a couple of pills and swallow them,  ** ** _this Hanahaki is gonna be the end of me_**** - he reasoned.

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****_I was suspicious before, I’m almost sure now, Jackson hyung is having a relapse. I just need to find out if this time a surgery won’t be needed. I’m could swear Mark hyung looks at my friend with heart eyes. I’ll think of a way to make Mark hyung spill the beans_**** - BamBam meditated.

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	6. Papillon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackson releases Papillon... some fans get angry at him

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 **It’s really bad you know, to receive the attack from my own ahgases. The saddest feeling, betrayal, doesn’t come from the enemies and I found out in the hard way today Yien. I just wanted to show my music, a new side of me you know-** Jackson said in a combination of hangul, mandarin and English to Mark while doing a video call.

 **I know Gaga, it’s so sad. I just can’t understand our own fans. Try to calm down and concentrate in the positive aspects Gaga. People will grow to love you** ** _-_** ** _ ~~just the way I do~~_** ** _-_** **You’ll just wait and see. There are more than a thousand good comments and your video reached 1 million visits in less than 24hrs. It’s lit. Common cheer up!!!I promise you to take you to a BBQ once you come back from China-** said Mark trying to give support to Jackson.

In reality Mark was suffering more than Jackson, with Hanahaki and the cause of his disease away talking to him with crying eyes. Mark was fighting his own battles… after seeing and listening to Jackson he knew the members had to do something to give strength to Jackson.

 **You promise?** \- asked a pouty Jackson.

 **Yeap, definitely if I could I’d do a pinky promise-** answered Mark.

 **Ok you can’t go back Yien, you’ll take me to eat marvelous meat-** said Jackson feeling a bit better.

 **When are you coming back?** \- inquired Mark.

 **Soon Mark, very soon. I’ll let you know. Now I gotta go there’s an interview I need to attend-** said a reluctant Jackson.

**Just go Gaga I understand. See you, remember there’re lots of people who are cheering on you, and there are many more that love you, take care, see you Gaga-**

**Thanks for listening Mark; it means a lot for me. See you bye!** \- Said Jackson before hanging out.

As soon as the call ended Mark went straight to the bathroom and look for his “vitamins” but he couldn’t find them. He was frantic, but BamBam appeared:

**Hyung, what are you looking for?-**

**My vitamins, I put them here but I can’t find them-** answered a stressed Mark.

 **Oh I took them, I wanted to try them but...-** BamBam was rudely interrupted.

 **No!! BamBam you just can’t!!! It’s … Om my god!! Where are they? How many did you take?-** asked Mark.

 **Hyung, relax! Let me finish first. As I was saying I wanted to try them, but they look strange so I just didn’t take them-** responded BamBam.

 **Oh!!! That’s great. Those vitamins are special, so could you give them back please?** \- Mark tried to act composed.

 **They are on your night table hyung** \- answered BamBam.

 **Good to know, I’m gonna take them** \- said Mark.

 ** _Hmmm!! Strike two hyung, one more and you’re out. First it was the scent of roses and now the vitamins. I’m sure you have Hanahaki. I’ll be your shadow hyung, I want to know if you love Jackson hyung for sure. It’s so difficult trying to read you hyung, you just dont' speak. But you can’t fool the marvelous double B. Plus you were the only person Jackson called to vent his frustrations and sadness. It means he’s falling for you again. I’m absolutely positive about it-_** thought BamBam.

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Journal entry #9

I just can’t!!! This is so unreal!! Our own ahgases!! How could they?? I mean I get that Jackson has always been more independent, that’s his charm. It’s so difficult for us to grow as musicians under JYPE, we are bound to do what the boss says, he isn’t mean but he has to think as a business man. When Jackson mentioned Team Wang we were so proud of him, when he mentioned his musical debut we cheered on him. But after reading the comments of our own fans asking him to leave Got7 I just couldn’t take it, neither the rest of the members. We asked JYP for help and he decided to record a video message for Gaga and made it known to the public. I was so emotional; I cried lots before and after recording. I even had to wear a cap for not showing my face. What’s worse I had an attack of cough and petals were floating in the bathroom. I took care af all of them and went back to record the video, strangely BamBam is following me everywhere.

When they asked us to define Jackson in one word I thought about "sarang"… I just couldn’t voice my thoughts so I answered “Energy”. There were so many things to say but each member had a limited time for the message…

Jackson what can I do? I love you when you love me no more, and now you’re suffering in China, alone just because you wanted to fulfill your dream of becoming a musician…

My past blindness is now haunting me. I carefully take a look at our past videos, our old memories when your eyes were full of love. I remember when sharing our room you voiced your thoughts before sleeping, I should have talked to you back, you felt so lonely with my unresponsiveness. But I wasn’t being a jerk, I know now that I didn’t respond because your voice was so magnetic, so soothing, I never got tired of listen to you; I must have loved you even back then.

You were right about falling out of love, it’s impossible. I tried but I wasn’t successful.

What will be my next step?

-Mark

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	7. Strike 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark reaches stage 2 of Hanahaki and BamBam gets in the way

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 **I’m so sorry to inform you this: you have escalated to stage 2 of Hanahaki. The metallic taste you have experienced these past weeks is a clear indicator that roses are blooming inside of you and the thorns are causing damage in your esophagus. I recommend you to schedule a surgery as soon as possible. Hanahaki can be lethal and in your case, roses are the worst ones. Please do consider my advice and get the procedure** \- Dr. Kang said to Mark.

 **I know doctor the consequences of this disease and I know my only option is the surgery. How much do I have before stage 3? -** Mark inquired

 **With the progression you have shown and your physical characteristics I guess you have a maximum of 2 weeks before reaching stage 3. But as I said to you before, roses are too dangerous and not a lot of patients have survived the last stage-** answered Dr. Kang.

 **I see, I’m going to think this through, I guess we are going to see each other soon doctor-** said Mark while leaving the office and the hospital.

 **What should I do?** \- was the million dollar question inside Mark’s head.

 

✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿

**Journal entry #13**

**I went to doctor and news were bad. I’m in stage 2. I regret so many things but I can’t turn back on time. I just can’t. I shouldn’t have read your diary Jackson; I should have just ignored it. I shouldn’t have looked at it at all, after I read it I knew I was in love. I shouldn’t have listened to my heart all. I should have acted like I didn’t care, but I do, I love you and you don’t.**

**Without words you loved me, this diary was the only witness of your pain. Without words but acts you gave me love. Without words you waited for me, the way I wait for you now. Without words you repressed your feelings just to make me happy, should I do the same?**

**Without words my tears fall down, without words your heart broke down and now mine is breaking too. Without words I hurt because of love, I disappear; I become a fool that cries at night looking at the sky.**

**Without words you bid farewell to your love, in order to survive. My heart isn’t ready to send you away; I’m not ready to forget. Without words love comes and goes.**

**Maybe all I need to do is to hurt for a while and get the surgery, because in the end only scars are left.**

**-Mark**

✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿

 **BamBam, help me please!!-** said Jackson.

 **What’s your problem hyung?** \- asked BamBam.

 **You might be right BamBamie I think I’m falling again and I’m so scared. I feel so happy whenever Mark is around me, just like before. I can look at him for hours and hours and never get tired. I’m a failure Bam!! I can’t be digging my own grave again! -** Jackson voiced all his worries to his bestie, he needed advise.

 **Jackson hyung, I told you before! I knew it. People can’t just get rid of such an immense love. Some feelings are bound to reappear and scars are bound to reopen. Be brave hyung, just wait. There may be a less painful solution this time-** said BamBam.

 **What are you talking about? It’s as bad as it was before BamBamie, I didn’t think this could happen twice but it’s happening** -

 **Hyung, just wait a bit, don’t be so dramatic ok. I know it’s hard but you already survived before, might as well survive again. There’s just one tiny little detail to be unveiled and I promise you a happy ending-** said BamBam

 **Are you on drugs? What sort of bullshit are you talking about? -** asked an annoyed Jackson.

 **Hey, eeeeasy!! Nope you know I don’t do drugs, maybe alcohol sometimes but nothing now. There’s something bothering me and as soon as I find out what I want I’ll come back with a solution for you-** declared BamBam.

 **As you wish** \- responded a puzzled Jackson.

✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿

 ** _Oh my gosh!! He’s here!! I have to take an extra dose of my pills to face him now. As far as I remember when he was in stage 2 Jackson was very vulnerable. I’m gonna pray that my poker face can do the trick._** **Hi Gaga come here man-** said Mark while placing the notebook in his desk. He went to hug the living days out of Jackson. BamBam followed Jackson and noticed the copybook and it looked oddly familiar to him.

 ** _Could it be the strike 3?_** ** _–_** BamBam thought- **_if it’s so I’ll find soon. I’m sure hyungs will be talking for hours and I’ll be waiting for the right moment to come and pick it-_**

 **Hyung let’s grab some food. I bought you some souvenirs-** proposed Jackson.

 **Hyungs I need to do some things first go ahead and I’ll join you. Mark hyung can I borrow your black boots? -** asked Bambam.

 **Sure, but you need to find them, they are on the closet, in the corner of the left to the far-** answered Mark.

 **No worries Mark hyung I’ll look for them-** responded BamBam. **_I don’t need them at all; just go out so I can take a look at your desk soon-_**

 **Ok see you BamBam-** said Mark and Jackson at the same time.

BamBam seized his opportunity and took the journal as soon as he could. **_Bingo! Strike 3! This was Jackson’s diary why do you have it? I’m gonna take a look inside_**. So BamBam read the entries Mark had written so far. It wasn’t a surprise at all. **_Ha!!! I was right!!! I knew it!! Such a genious double B. This journal is so angsty though, it gives me shivers. I’m gonna help them bottom line. I swear before Mark’s b-day they’ll be an item._**

 

✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿


	8. I'm sorry I love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark schedules his appointment to get the surgery

✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿

** Jackson, what are we doing to celebrate Mark hyung’s birthday? **  - asked BamBam

** I don’t know, maybe I shouldn’t do anything. If I’m going back to Hanahaki I may have to stay away from him- ** responded Jackson.

** Hyung!!! Don’t be like that. Mark needs you. You need him as well. Don’t you dare to deny it. I’ll organize everything. We’re gonna have a big party. Just wait and see- **  said an enthusiastic BamBam.

** You just wanted an excuse to throw a party ** \- accused Jackson.

** Well, yes, you are right. But I’m also making a big good deed. You’ll understand later. By the way, did you buy him a gift? **  - inquired BamBam.

** Um, I, well, I did. But it may be too showy, too much ** \- answered a shy Jackson

** What did you exactly buy Jackson?- **

** Um, well, while we were in LA, I bought a personalized necklace- **

** You have bought him jewelry before, what’s the big deal now? Can you show it to me? **  - BamBam tried his best aegyo face.

** Yeap, but don’t judge please- **  pleaded Jackson. He stood up and went looking for a box, there were 2 beautiful necklaces. He took one and handed it to BamBam.

** Oh my GOD!!! Hyung it’s beautiful. Really, you made a good choice. But it seems expensive though- **

** As matter of fact, it is made of white and rose gold with diamonds. It costs $16,000 ** \- said a proud Jackson.

** Wait a minute, is there another one in the box?  ** \- asked BamBam while signaling to the box in Jackson’s hand.

** Well, I asked for 2, so here’s the other- **  said Jackson.

** Aha!! I knew it, couple jewelry again hyung ** \- teased BamBam.

** Hajima!! Stop it!! - I just… I don’t know why I did it anymore- **  added a defeated Jackson.

** You did it cuz you love him. It’s fair to give him his present, Jackson gwenchana. I’ll organize everything, you and the rest will know the details later- **  said BamBam.

** You’re the expert, so I’ll wait for your instructions- **  added Jackson.

✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿

** Journal entry #14 **

** I can’t deal with this anymore. I’m starting to have eating problems now, the vines and thorns are causing me big troubles. YoungJae noticed I was eating less than before and he confronted me, I said I was just making a diet before our come back and he bought my excuse. Jinyoung and JB are looking suspicious too. Yugyeom is super busy with his studies so he hasn’t said a word. On the other hand, BamBam seems to be my shadow 24/7, I swear he knows the truth. I can’t risk my life anymore. **

** To be honest I don’t want to forget you Gaga, I cherish this love, but I’m hopeless. I’m full of bipolar feelings: I hate you, I resent the times I had with you because you’re faking your concern but you’re the innocent one. I love you and I don’t really mind your fake actions, just a sight of your smile makes my day. Every time you lose that smile I want to give it back. I'm sorry I love you Jackason **

** Every time I read those hateful comment in Papillon video I want to erase them, I want to hurt instead of you. I want to cry for you, I don’t want see any scars in your heart ever again. I can’t protect you Jackson, I’m sorry I love you, the only thing I can do is stand next to you. But this isn’t the best solution for neither of us. **

** Just like you did before, I also visited doctor Kang, and I have scheduled my surgery, I’ll get rid of everything after my birthday. **

** So, until there I’ll love you more every day, I’ll shower you with my affection until I get you out of my heart. **

** I’m so sorry, I love you Wang Jia Er. **

** -M **

✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿

** Wait, what? No way!! This is insanity doctor Kang. You’re saying Jackson hyung already scheduled his surgery for September 5th. No doctor, no worries, this surgery won’t take place- **  said BamBam on the phone.

** Are you sure BamBam-sshi? **  – asked doctor Kang

** Absolutely. One last question has you patient Mr. Tuan scheduled a procedure too? **

** Let me check… Yes, in fact this morning he called and he’ll get the procedure for the same day- **  answered doctor Kang

** Idiots! Sorry doctor Kang, I didn’t want to insult you, it’s just that the whole situation is frustrating. That’s all I needed to know. I’m planning something so, in case my friends want to change the date for earlier let me know. Please doctor buy me some time- **

** I will BamBam-sshi, but if they come with JYP I’m afraid I won’t be able to help you- **  added doctor Kang.

** I’ll sure to find a solution before. Thanks a lot doctor Kang, bye **

** Bye- bye BamBam-sshi. **

BamBam hung up the phone. He suspected Mark and Jackson were not going to confess their feelings so he had created an infallible plan:  ** _a party with lots of food in a noreabang with the melodic voice of YoungJae hyung. A little pushing to Jackson to give his gift to Mark, and over reaction in charge of all of us. A bit of jealously in charge of Jinyoung, it always helps. A bit of alcohol paid by BJ hyung. The mood maker will be Gyeomie, my outstanding fashionable presence and finally time alone: Mark and Jackson will sort their feelings, yes or yes-_** BamBam’s brilliant plan.

✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿

Another chapter inspired by Day6 I loved you and When you love someone

✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿


	9. Markson, Markson!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to confess

 

✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿

The day of the birthday arrived. BamBam had every detail planned and he was in a meeting with the rest of the members minus Markson.

 **At my signal you have to get going, one by one, so they won’t get suspicious, understood?** \- said BamBam.

 **Clear and loud the first time you said it, and it has been 10 times already. You’re getting on my nerves-** declared JB.

 **Chill out leader-nim-** answered BamBam. The meeting was over, this was Mark and Jackson last change before the scheduled surgeries. They went to the noreabang, and the plan was working just fine:

YoungJae was killing high notes and singing his lungs out, they were goofing around. JB had purchased alcoholic drinks and everybody was light headed but not drunk. The plan was just to give Mark and Jackson a bit of liquid courage, they needed to be conscious to confess their feelings. Jinyoung was playing his part super great, actor Park was on his natural element: giving warm smiles and nice gestures towards Mark and playing along the role of Wang-gae/ Park-gae. The sight of a jealous Mark was so much fun, he became silent and if looks could kill poor Jinyoung would have died plenty of times already. Bambam took his change and snapped many pictures (for further blackmailing material). On the other hand, a jelous Jackson was also a sight worth of a picture, he was acting like a maknae trying to get all the attention, he was a kid in the body of a grown up.

Yugyeom was hitting the stage ~~(see what I did here?)~~ with his dancing skills everybody joined him and it was an utter mess of limbs and giggles. After all the energy left them, BamBam proposed to sit down and hand out the gifts to Mark. They were reaching almost the end of his plan:

JB started and gave his gift. Mark opened it and thanked JB for such thoughtful present. After JB it was Yugyeom’s turn, as expected Mark hugged his Kim bro giving him thanks. Next it was Jinyoung’s turn, of course he gifted Mark with a collection of Horror movies, Mark’s favorites. After Jinyoung, YoungJae gave 2 presents: one for Mark and one for Coco. Bambam was the next one, he picked up an airport outfit, as expected from a fashionist. Mark was really touched, he promised to use it the next time they were at the airport. Finally the spotlight was on Jackson, his gift was by far the most expensive. He was getting more and more nervous.

 **BamBam, I think I overdid mine** \- whispered Jackson almost panicking.

 **Chill out booiii, I’m sure Mark hyung will love it-** reassured BamBam. Jackson stood up, took the small box in his hands and started to talk:

**Mark hyung, we don’t share a room anymore, we can’t go walking to the Han River like we used to or to our favorite BBQ restaurant. I feel we talk more on the phone than face to face. Mianhae hyung, I still care about you, I still want us to share more moments, to create more memories. I wanted to give you a gift that represent how much I cherish you.**

While Jackson was giving his speech, Mark started to feel his insides burn, Jackson was just too sweet, too caring. He was dressed so simple: all in black like always, he looked effortless handsome. The seeds growing inside were making Mark feel really dizzy. Petals were hurting his throat, he knew he needed to go out, before anyone would notice. But leaving without explanations was gonna be impossible. Mark just stayed still with his eyes never leaving the figure of the person he loved the more.

 **Mark hyung, I hope you really like my gift-** Jackson finished his speech and handed the box to Mark, who took it carefully brushing his fingers against Jackson’s and his cheek went bright red.

 **C’mon open it now! -** shouted JB.

 **Ok, here I go-** Mark took a look inside and saw the most beautiful necklace ever, just by a simple gaze he knew it was exclusive, not to mentioned the cost of it, Mark took it carefully and admired it. **Oh my!! I love it, it’s beautiful-**

 **Phew!! I thought you may not like it-** said a shy Jackson.

 **Hyung why don’t you wear it?** \- proposed YoungJae.

 **Huh? Wear it? Now? -** asked a puzzled Mark

 **Yeap, please Jackson hyung could you help Mark hyung with it?** \- added Yugyeom.

 **Of course, if Mark wants me to-** said Jackson trying to hide the evident blush.

 **I, well, yes? I guess?** \- Mark sounded so unsure.

Jackson took the necklace from Mark’s hand and proceeded to put it around his neck, Jackson was so nervous, all the excitement of having Mark this close was making his heart beat erratically. Mark was in no better condition, being so close to Jackson was making his heart explode. Jackson finished closing the necklace clasp and went back to his seat.

 **Thanks Jackson I really liked it-** said Mark after finding some oxygen in his lungs.

 **Glad you liked it hyung-** answered Jackson.

 **Hey Mark hyung, haven’t you noticed it yet?** \- asked BamBam.

 **Uh? Notice what BamBam?** \- responded Mark.

 **Look over here, see?** \- said BamBam while pointing his finger towards Jackson.

 **The necklace you have is a twin version of the one Jackson hyung has, it’s like a couple item** \- said BamBam while observing Mark reacting. On the other hand, Jackson was thinking in a thousand ways to kill BamBam.

 **Yeah? You’re right BamBamie, they look similar** \- Mark was on the edge of fainting **_couple items? Really? –_**

 **Sorry hyung, they are not just similar, I asked for both of them-** added Jackson not looking at anyone in particular but his eyes were focused on the table in front of him.

Mark wanted to get away, escape from his feelings, from everyone. Jackson did it on purpose. But he knew it meant not the same as for him. **_Too much love is as bad as no love_**. He tried to put his best poker face and said:

 **Hey, Gaga, it’s ok. As I said before I really love it, thanks for your gift** -

Sensing the awkwardness in the air BamBam proposed to start a singing battle and everybody agreed.

✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿

Mark saw it was his chance to run away, even for a couple of minutes. He excused himself and headed to the nearest bathroom. Mark couldn’t handle his emotions anymore, nor the coughing attack he was experimenting, as soon as he entered the bathroom he forgot to lock the door and went to the toilet and start coughing, he vomited a bit. He was feeling worse than before. Tons of white petals were invading his lungs and he couldn’t stop them from going out of his system. Mark knew he had reached stage 3 since the petals he was expulsing were tinted with drops of blood. As soon as he stop coughing he went to the faucet and drank water. It helped a bit with the sensation in his throat but as soon as he took a look in the mirror he saw the necklace and he started to cough again, more petals were thrown.

Bambam had followed Mark to the bathroom and when he heard Mark coughing he could image the scene inside the bathroom for he had experienced it before with Jackson. This was the last straw. BamBam left Mark alone inside the bathroom and went looking for Jackson. He took Jackson by the hand and told him Mark was having some problems and he was worried. BamBam was very vague but he knew Jackson cared too much to let Mark alone. He opened the door and pushed Jackson inside, hoping that this time they could sort things out. BamBam went back to the room and told the news to rest, they had to give the two idiots time. So Got5 left them be.

✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿

Jackson entered the bathroom and locked the door. He was not ready for the image that greeted him. Mark was bend over the faucet with his beautiful face covered in petals. Actually the whole bathroom was full of petals. Jackson felt a knife stabbing his heart. His dearest member was coughing petals, it could only mean Mark was suffering Hanahaki.

 ** _Who could be the lucky one? Someone extraordinary, unique, worthy of Mark Tuan_**. Jackson felt terrible sad, because so many petals could only mean it was one sided, **_how could somebody not love Mark back?_**

 **Hyung, Mark, are you ok? Do you need help?** \- Jackson was glad his voice didn’t wave.

 ** _Shit, shit, shit!!! Not him, not now-_** Mark knew he looked pathetic, but it was worse seeing Jackson there with him. **_What to do? Well a bit of truth and a bit of lies._**

**I’m trying to be fine. Apparently I’m not being successful-**

The image of Mark loving someone in a one-sided way made Jackson want to cry his heart out. **_Of course Mark wasn’t right, hanahaki was the most cruel manifestation your love wasn’t reciprocated._** Jackson was lost, he wanted so badly to tell Mark his feelings but **_what for? Mark is already in love with someone else._** Jackson decided to say half-truth/half lies.

 **I’m so sorry hyung. I wish I could so something to help you. Hold on, don’t be scared. It’s hard but you can overcome this-** Jackson took a deep breath his stomach had a funny feeling and his esophagus was telling him petals were forming again inside of him. **So, hanahaki huh? -**   Jackson picked up some petals and observe them: **_so delicate, soft and pretty but were there blood stains?-_**

 **Yeah, hanahaki disease stage 3-** said Mark trying to look a bit more decent. It was so unfair, to have Jackson looking after him, he seemed so worried, when Jackson was actually the reason for those petals.

 **That person is the luckiest one in the world for having scored your heart Mark _- ~~something I was never able to do-~~ _ why can’t she love you back?**\- asked a pained Jackson.

 ** _ ~~Oh, so Jackson doesn’t suspect anything, I don’t know whether to feel relief or not-~~_** ** ~~well~~** **, you see, it is not a she but a he-** corrected Mark.

 ** _ ~~Lucky bastard.~~_** **Can I help you? Maybe I can knock some sense out of him. You deserve all the happiness in this word hyung-** offered Jackson.

 **I, well, I don’t think that’s a possibility. It’s hopeless, you see? All this petals are the living prove he won’t love me back-** said a sad Mark trying clean the tiles. **_~~You Jackson, it’s you, you won’t love me-~~_**

 **Oh, I see. This is too bad-** Jackson was really trying to control his emotions, Jackson could feel the familiar burning sensation inside of him, he was about to have a reaction triggered by the image of his hyung loving someone else. **_~~I won’t ever be the one, I’m not good enough.~~_** Without noticing Jackson started to cough, he did it so badly that a petal made its way out.

 **Wait, Jackson? What’s this? -** asked Mark looking the pale yellowish petal floating around.

**Well, you see Mark, apparently you are not the only one suffering. I have hanahaki as well. But don’t worry about me. I’ve already schedule the surgery.**

**But Jackson, this petal is a zhīzi- Gardenia-** said a hopeful Mark ** _ ~~. It can’t be, Oh god!!!!!~~_**

 **Yeap, it is, not as beautiful as your petals though, white roses are way better**.

After Jackson answer, Mark suspected this was gonna be different. Perhaps it was just a wishful thinking, but he was about to test his luck.

 **Yeah, white roses are so great, they are your favorites, aren’t they?** \- said Mark with half a smirk. Letting Jackson interpret his words.

 **Yeah, I’ve always liked them, they’re fragrant and elegant-** Jackson wasn’t the sharpest knife in the box, he was too naïve, too obtuse.

 **And just as white roses are your favorite mine are gardenias** \- said Mark pointing at the petal.

 ** ~~Oh shit! Is Mark implying that he knows…~~** **Oh My God!! Hyung let me explain-** said Jackson panicking a bit.

 **So?** \- asked Mark.

**I don’t want to burden you Mark. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I don’t know what else to say-**

**Do you love me? -** inquired Mark.

 **I’m sorry Mark, I love you. I promise I won’t be a burden, I’m gonna take care of this hyung. I’m having my surgery, don’t worry-** answered Jackson.

 **No Jackson, please don’t. Look around-** pleaded Mark.

 **What do you want me to see?** -Asked  a very confused Jackson.

 **This Jackson, look at this.** Mark said while handing Jackson a handful of petals. **These are white roses-** started to say Mark.

 **Yien, I can see them. I’m not blind-** interrupted Jackson.

**But a bit stupid. Let me finish please. Jackson these are white rose petals, your favorite flowers. Don’t you get it? Jackson I’m in love with you. I have been for a long time.**

To say that Jackson was surprised is the understatement of the century.

**What??? You mean you love me? As in me? As in: I love you Jackson?-**

**Yeap, as in you, I love you.  Wǒ ài nǐ, Saranghae Wang Jia Er-** said Mark showng his bunny smile.

 **Can I, would you? I mean if is it ok if I...-** Jackson was blabbing and it melted Mark’s heart.

 **Just shut up and kiss me-** demanded Mark.

Jackson closed the distance between them and with trembling hands he took Mark’s face into his hands. Taking a deep breath he was leaning towards Mark, up until their lips made contact sending them to heaven. Finally they were in the same page. They lips were perfect in each other, this was the sweetest kiss they had ever had in their lives. It was the cure for their hanahaki disease, no more seeds, no more vines, and no more petals. Only love.

The kiss was interrupted by a loud applause and the screams of their friends:

** Markson! Markson!!! **

** Chu-chu-chu-chuuuuuu!!!!! **

** krrrrrrrrrrrrrah!!!!!!! **

** Yah!!!! Shut up idiots!!!! **

 

✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿❁❃❋❀✽✾✿

 


End file.
